The hearing loss that I’m suffering slowly increases, and the lack of equilibrium which accompanies it also gets worse day by day. Because of these things, my outlook on life changes and I find myself interested in different things from those that were important to me ten years ago.
One of my greatest pleasures now is to sit very quietly in my room, praying either the Liturgy of the Hours or simply speaking to Our Lord in my words, listening to good music, and sometimes just thinking about anything that will pop into my mind. The nicest part of it is that I have no OBLIGATIONS. There is nothing that I should be doing at this moment, and therefore I don’t have to feel guilty about sitting quietly. What a blessing this is after years of responsibilities, schedules, obligations, ringing telephones, and stacks of mail to be attended to and answered.
When I speak to Our Lord in my own words, I find myself very often asking for his support. I am acutely conscious of my weaknesses, my needs, my lack of resources, my good fortune to know that there is a God, there is a God who knows me, loves me, and hears me when I call upon Him. I do not live in a cold, impersonal universe. The trees that I can see clearly from my windows; the doves and mockingbirds that populate the telephone lines just outside our priory, the sun which rises where I can see it in the east, and then disappears over the house in the afternoon—all of these things speak to me of the Creator. I look up to the bookshelves just above my computer and there I see the small copy I have of Rembrandt’s beautiful painting of the Return of the Prodigal Son, and a very nice alabaster statuette group showing Our Lord washing Saint Peter’s feet. If our Heavenly Father welcomes us with as much joy as the father welcomed the prodigal son in the parable, and if the Savior of the world would kneel on the floor washing his apostles’ feet, then I am surely in good hands—the sacred hands that made me, that saved me, that reach out to me in love and the desire to uphold, to assist, to bless. Thank you for seeking God’s truth. God bless you. Father Victor Brown, O.P.
Note: Father Brown composed this message some years ago.